Monthly Archives: January 2009

A Woman, a Boy and a Plantain- A Spaghetti Western

(A guest post by my wife…) 

It was a cold January Morning. The family was sittin’ down for some vittles before the day began. The smell of freshly cooked bacon filled the air. Steam rose from the pancakes that were hot off the griddle. The table was set. The orange juice was poured. The woman arrived with something the boy had never seen before – a fried plantain. It looked like a banana, smelled like hash browns and clearly had salt and pepper on it. The boy sat back, folded his arms across his chest and with great determination said, “I am not eating that.”

The woman replied with equal determination, “ You will not be excused from the table until you do.”

The  boy scratched his chin and thought..

Time froze.  You could hear the clock tick in the background.  You could feel the tension.  You could hear the ole Western Whistle in the background (like the music done by the Spaghetti Western Orchestra or Clint Eastwood’s The Good, the Bad and the Ugly).

 

IT WAS TIME FOR A SHOWDOWN! (Please play music if you have not already done so.)

9:41 AM (Already 20 minutes into breakfast)

“I will sit here until bedtime but I am not eating that!,” the boy said with true grit.

“That is fine. Then sit we will,” said the woman with steely eyes.

9:51 AM

The boy is starting to break. He looks to lay down on the chair next to his. A white hat man helps the woman by taking the chair away. There will be no mercy shown to the boy.

“I will sit here until school starts or I have to go to the bathroom,”  grunts the boy.

“That is fine and we will do nothing else until you eat that plantain,”  the woman holds firm.

10:21 AM

The boy flinched a couple of times but held firm. The woman respected the determination of the boy.  He held firm.

“There is no need for you to be stubborn about this,” goads the woman.

“I am a man of my word. I will never eat that!” the boy states with honor.

The woman suppresses her laugh. He is besting her and that must not happen. She regains control.

“Changing your mind is not a lapse of integrity,” she offers.

“You will not trick me.” He digs in even further.

10:30 AM

The woman sees him waning. He is whining. He has fought valiantly. She will WIN!

Then like a fiery Phoenix he rises…

“I am more stubborn than you!” he yells.

“I don’t doubt that!” she scoffs. This kid is good. She is starting to wonder how long he will last.

Silence reigns. Tick tock, tick tock.

10:43AM

The boy’s brother walks in and assesses the situation. He knows this is not good. With his key negotiating skills he says to the boy,”Stop being stupid and eat the plantain so we can play Lego Batman.”

The boy hops off his chair, pops the plantain in his mouth and muscles through it. The woman checks to make sure he swallowed the plantain and the two brothers galloped across the kitchen into the sunset.

While she may have won this round… She knew he would be back…

 

Author’s Note…

Seriously, I wish I would have had a big brother to talk some sense into me. My showdown with my dad over a hard boiled egg lasted 3 days! I wonder where the boy gets is from. I have to run… My acting lesson today put me an hour and a half behind schedule.