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Archive for January, 2003

“… the good news is that I got an chair with arms,” I continued telling my wife. He perked up from his dinner: “It has arms? Does it do your work when you’re not there?” I laughed. “No, it unfortunately does not.” “Does it go like this?” he asked. He flapped his arms in his best duck impression and said… “Aflac… Aflac… AFLAC!”

Spectacularity

The Lord of the Rings is completely fake!!! The great story of the One Ring is nothing more than a bunch of Hobbit rubbish. Please follow carefully: Mushrooms grow in gardens. Gardeners frequent gardens. Sam Gamgee is a gardener. Sam Gamgee goes on a grand adventure after being caught by a cagy old wizard. Mushrooms produce the same effect. Therefore, Sam Gamgee must have been doing ‘shrooms and thereby made   Read More ...

Spectacularity

My Precious… We wants it! When I was a kid, I used to play Matchbox cars (although some where Hot Wheels). Since it’s no fun to play by yourself, I’d often convince my younger sisters to join in. I would split up my cars, giving both of them some to play with – even my favorites on occassion. Janet had one vehicle that was hers, the 1981 Hot Wheels Jeep   Read More ...

Spectacularity

“Why is everyone in the bathroom?” she asked, obviously frustrated. From the bedroom I could hear the boys playing in our small bathroom while she was getting ready. Despite my mandate to support my spouse in all matters, I made a mad dash for the bathroom, yelling “I’m not in the bathroom! I’m not in the bathroom!” SLAM! Our older boy heard me coming and slammed the door in my   Read More ...

Spectacularity

To paraphrase Psalms 8:2, today I found strength in the words of children… I was having a rough morning. The elder left his boots at his Papa’s, and there were three fresh inches of snow. The younger spit up twice – once on the carpet and once on the elder’s karaoke machine. All this and more made us late getting out of the house this morning. As I buckled the   Read More ...

Spectacularity

My New Year’s Resolution, as it was last year, is to write more. My second resolution is to not keep my New Year’s Resolutions. Ha! Figure that one out.

Spectacularity